VideoHow do you apologize in your life? I’ve shared this before a few years ago but with the climate of society…
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Dr. Nicole LePera explains that a genuine apology is an act of accountability and respect that repairs trust and rebuilds relationships. It requires acknowledging the specific offense, expressing sincere remorse without excuses, and outlining how to make amends going forward. Most people only say “I’m sorry,” but effective apologies also name what happened and commit to change. Avoiding “but” or minimizing language is key, since it shifts blame away from responsibility.
The five-step apology framework adds restitution and asking for forgiveness to the process. After saying sorry and naming the action, the person should offer to make the situation right and describe what they will do differently next time. Forgiveness should be requested, not expected, and does not guarantee continued access to the relationship. Sam Blaskowski recently demonstrated this by taking full ownership of past social media posts and stepping away from Star Athletics without making excuses.
Over-apologizing often comes from low self-worth and can undermine confidence rather than build connection. Experts suggest replacing unnecessary “I’m sorry” with direct statements about solutions or boundaries instead. When done well, apologizing models emotional intelligence and creates closeness instead of shame.