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Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a graphic of standing, magazine, poster and text that says '#WithChude WHAT LEARNT 01 0１→ from Femi and Simi Dapson "I IWould Rather Raise an Arrogant Child Thana Timid One" LET'SBEHUMAN,TOGETHER. LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a graphic of child, poster, magazine and text that says '#WithChude WHATILEARNT WHAT LEARNT 02→ 02 Of course, the goal is a child that is neither timid nor arrogant. A child who sees themselves clearly, understands their strengths and weaknesses, and knows that everybody else deserves space in the world too. LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a graphic of text that says '#WithChude WHAT 03 LEARNT But if you forced me to choose between the two extremes, I would choose the arrogant child. Because arrogance can be corrected. It can be tempered by reality, responsibility and consideration for other people. But timidity can bury an entire life before it has begun. LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a Twitter screenshot of child, magazine and text that says '#WithChude WHATILEARNT WHAT LEARNT 04→ 04 Too many African children are raised to approach the world asi if they are intruding upon it. Even the advice we give them is often designed around fear. "Be careful how you treat the people you meet on your way up because you may meet them on your way down." LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a Twitter screenshot of child, magazine and text that says '#WithChude WHATI WHATILEARNT LEARNT 05 Why are we already preparing the child to come down? Tell the child to be kind because kindness matters. Tell them not to treat people badly because every human being has dignity. Why must goodness be presented as insurance against future disgrace? LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a graphic of magazine and text that says '#WithChude 06 WHATILEARNT WHAT LEARNT We call it humility, but many times what we are teaching is self-erasure. Humility is seeing yourself correctly. Your strengths and your weakneses. What you know and what you do not know. is not lying that you are smaller, less gifted or less capable than you are. If you are an excellent singer and somebody asks whether you can sing, and yли say, "I don't know," you are not being humble. You are lying. LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a graphic of child, magazine, poster and text that says '#WithChude WHATI LEARNT 07 07→ In many of the African cultures I know, a confident child is quickly cut down to size." The child says, "I "Iam am going to become a star," and an adult asks, "Who do you think you are?" Who should the child think they are? LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a meme of one or more people, people standing, magazine and text that says 'WHAT LEARNT This was what struck me while speaking with Femi Dapson and his wife, Simi. As a young man, Femi was cleaning toilets. In the middle of that reality, he recorded a video telling the world that he was going to become rich and successful. That kind of confidence can annoy people. Same young man. Rigger vision.'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be an image of text that says '#WithChude WHATILEARNT WHAT LEARNT 09 But Femi's confidence was not empty noise. He was cleaning toilets when he made the declaration. He was willing to do the work. He studied how successful people moved, built relationships, kept learning beyond his formal education and acted on what he learnt. He was not saying, "I will be successful," while lying down and waiting for potential to perform magic. He was saying: lunderstand what this will require, I Ibelieve can do it, and I am prepared to pay the price. LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER,'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a Twitter screenshot of magazine and text that says '#WithChude WHATILEARNT WHAT LEARNT 10 Simi also said she always knew she wanted to be a star. And instead flaughing at her, the adults around her nurtured the dream. That is still unusual enough to astonish me. That's why I was so excited to actually see that Femi kept the receipt. He recorded that video. LET'S BE , TOGETHER'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a graphic of newspaper, magazine and text that says '#WithChude WHAT LEARNT 11 11→ And within about a decade, he moved from cleaning toilets in the video to becoming one of the country's major music-video producers. He said the thing out loud-not loud- only to himself, but to the uncles, aunties, classmates, teachers, neighbours, colleagues and anybody else who might have laughed. Then he went into the world and did the work required to align reality with ambition. LET'S BE HUMAN, TOGETHER,'.
Photo by Chude Jideonwo on September 17, 2026. May be a graphic of one or more people, people standing, magazine, poster, head covering and text that says 'WHATILEARNT WHAT LEARNT We need more parents, teachers, pastors, imams, friends, brothers and sisters who know how to tend that kind of confidence.'.
Chude Jideonwo@chudeity
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17 Comments

This is what I learnt from my interviews with Femi and Simi Dapson. You can read the full article on my Substack newsletter: read.withchude.com.

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A preview Instagram ships with the post — 9 of 17 public comments.

@abimbola_adebakin Thank you for this post. I. ABIMBOLA ADEBAKIN, ENDORSE THIS MESSAGE 🙌

@ogunyomi_modupe We need to start by healing our emotional wounds first before we can have the capacity to raise a generation full of kids like that.

· 1 likes

@every_smile_count_fashion_ 👏👏👏

@sir_kimoo Lol, olodo !!! Confident is not the same as arrogant!! Make your child arrogant. The blame is on you , rise a Confident child you're proud of yourself. Stop misleading people with choices of words !!!

@tutu_blossom Same thought. Same thing my mom advised me when I had my baby.

· 1 likes

@exquisite_lighting Hmmmm, can one teach an arrogant person?

· 2 likes

@ms_dera I completely agree 🙌. African parenting has raised more timid adults and it reflects in our society as a whole as we have people that can’t even stand up for themselves. Don’t be that aunty or uncle that will want to shut a child down because you feel they are “too much, too ambitious”, too opinionated” rather be the person that guides those traits to achieve positive outcomes in the child.

· 13 likes

@ohryhwh This is so enlightening and refreshing to see that there are still people with great mentalities in this part of the world.

· 5 likes

@tipok_lydia_balagumyetime8 🔥🔥

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